Supplementing with Formula

Unfortunately, over the last few weeks, my milk supply has started dwindling.  I'm not sure if it's going back to work, the stress at work, or what, but I am not producing like I used to.  I am also concerned that Annie isn't eating quite as much as she needs to at her age (which is 3 months as of today!!! :)).  I am trying to bump up her feedings to 4 oz. bottles throughout the day, and there is just no way I am going to produce that.  And unfortunately, I do not have the frozen supply I would like to use in the meantime of trying to revamp my milk supply (I started an herbal supplement today called Fenugreek, which is supposed to help with milk production!).

So, after talking with the pediatricians office and the Breastfeeding Clinic, I've decided I have to start supplementing with some formula for the time being.  Also, I have to start giving her bottles in the evening too (either of breast milk or formula) because my milk supply is much less in the evening - I know I only produce about 2-2.5 oz. or so at her 5pm and 7:30pm feedings, which is just not enough.  The Breastfeeding Clinic suggested that I at least try to give formula and breast milk in separate bottles (if she will take the formula on its own) since supposedly mixing reduces the effectiveness of breast milk.  So last night was her first full formula bottle at her 7:30pm feeding...and she took it like a champ!  Didn't even make the "ewww, what's this?!?" face that I expected her to.  So, of course, I thought everything was going well transitioning to one formula bottle per day.

But, unfortunately that wasn't the case!  We, luckily, have gone 3 months without having Annie fuss throughout the night....until last night.  She went to bed around 8pm, and woke up crying at like 9pm, 11pm, 3am, and 5am.  We could tell her tummy was hurting her.  She has had issues with gas in the past, but she was definitely in more pain last night.  So, the only thing that has obviously changed in the last 24 hours is the fact that she took a formula bottle.  I used Enfamil Infant formula...no special kind, just the plain infant formula.  Has anyone else had this happen where their baby reacted bad right away to formula?  I am going to call the doctor to see what I should do, but I also wanted to see if anyone else has gone through this as well and what the solution was for them.  I have a sample of a "gentle" type of formula from Gerber I think it is, so that could be a solution.

Anyway, just wanted some feedback from people that may have dealt with this when transitioning to formula...thanks! :)

Life as a New Working Mom

Having experienced both in my life now, I have enormous respect for two things...1) stay-at-home moms and 2) working moms (so I guess I'm saying moms in general are awesome).  But really, either path that a mother can choose - working or staying at home - have their own rewards and challenges.

There is nothing I loved more than being at home with Annie for the first 9.5 weeks of her life.  I loved being with her every second of every day and I truly enjoyed only focusing on her for that time - I barely thought about work (worked for a few hours a week, but that was really about it).  The fact that I truly loved being home with her made me really nervous about going back to work.  I was afraid that I was going to go back to work and really not like being there.  I knew eventually that I would probably get used to it, but I figured it may take me a long time.

I went back to work on Monday, March 4th.  Luckily I decided to do half days the first 3 days, which I know helped ease me into this working thing.  Of course the first morning that I left for work, I cried when I went to go wake Annie up and say goodbye.  I called my sister on the way to work to distract myself - so luckily the only time I cried was when I left the apartment.  But, much to my surprise, when I walked into my office at work for the first time in 2.5 months, I felt happy.  I was happy to be back.  As much as I miss Annie when I am at work (and believe me I do), I have really enjoyed getting back into the swing of things and working again.  I think overall there are 3 things that have really helped with this transition:

1. We feel really good about our day care - we know that Annie is being well cared for!  Lauren is awesome and we have great communication, which is key.
2. I really love my job - I think it helped to leave for a few months to really learn to appreciate how great and fun my job actually is (yup, I love weather and climate!...I'm a nerd, I know!)
3. Work has been so busy that I haven't had much time to think about anything else when I'm there! - and this was definitely true of the first week because we had a big outreach event that first weekend!  Here is a picture of Annie and I at that outreach event!  Annie got to come see her mommy work :)

Annie's first time in her big girl stroller too (looking out at the world!) :)

I think some of the things that make it most difficult to be a working mom (at least for me) are the following...

1. I feel sad and guilty that essentially, I am only spending 3-3.5 hours a day with Annie during the week.  I get about 15 minutes with her in the morning before I leave (which luckily is when she is all super smiley and happy after waking up!) and then after we get home at 4:30, we have until about 7:30 or 8 when she goes to bed.  That is really hard to wrap my brain around...3.5 hours a day.  Just simply not enough.  But, even if I don't get to spend quite as much time with her as I would like during the week, I know it is how I spend that time with her that is so important.  And unless something else really needs to be done, Annie is 100% my focus when I get home from work at 4:30!!
2. The weeknights fly by and I am exhausted at the end: by the time we get home and I play with Annie, feed her, feed us, give Annie a bath, and then put her to bed...I have to pick up the apartment, pack lunches/bottles for the next day...and I am exhausted.  I go straight to bed - and usually an hour later than I would like to. 

Another thing I have learned to appreciate as a working mom....weekends!!!  Non-stop loving on my baby girl is the best!!  While it's still an adjustment being back at work, I really think we've gotten into a great schedule and things are going so well!  I know there will be some days that are tougher than others, but overall, the transition really went better than I thought it would!!

2 Months - Already!?

I can't believe that Annie is already two months old!  Time has flown by...and over the last 2 months, I've probably experienced every type of emotion too.  I guess that is expected when there are still some "crazy" hormones lingering and slight sleep deprivation :).  But, overall, I honestly can say that the most common emotions over the last 2 months have been joy and love.  Our little Annie has changed our lives, and I never want to go a day again in my life without the amazing feeling of being a mom! 

Looking back at her 1 month pictures, it's hard to believe she has changed so much in the last month!  Here are her "stats" from Tuesday:

Weight: 11 lbs 14 oz. (50th to 75th percentile)

Length: 22 inches (10th to 25th percentile - shrimp!)

Head circumference: 38.7 cm (25th to 50th percentile)

Overall, Annie is a really good baby!  She is so sweet - very smiley (she did her first real smile in response to me around 1 month) - and I'm sure anyone who has been following pictures of Annie on Facebook or Instagram know that she is a smiley girl! :)  Over the last month, she has become so responsive when you interact with her.  She of course loves to smile at you, but also loves to make those adorable baby sounds - the range of her "talking" has become much more versatile over the last couple of weeks!!  I swear she has been on the verge of laughing one time for me and Ben said one time for him too - I think it's only a matter of time before we hear that adorable giggle!  It's so fun to think about all of the fun things she'll be doing over the next few months!  Well, the rest of her life for that matter :)  But this first year is just so amazing how much they learn and change!

Other 2 month "milestones": her neck is getting very strong - from about 2 weeks, people have been commenting on how strong of a neck she has for her age.  She is pretty good at lifting her head at a 45 degree angle (if not more) when she is doing tummy time and when you are holding her over your shoulder, she holds her head up really steady (which she has been doing for a few weeks now!).  

We have had some challenges along the way...Annie has a mild case of reflux, which isn't fun because you can tell she is in pain, especially during and after feedings.  Some days it is really bad, and others she is fine.  But because of her reflux, she often fusses when I try to feed her (which makes it difficult to get a full feeding since obviously I don't force it if she is in pain...), spits up quite a bit, and is just uncomfortable after eating.  We do try some things to make her more comfortable (holding her upright after feedings for 30 mins, angling her crib mattress, etc.), but the worst part is that we really can't do much about it.  Hopefully just a little bit of time will help this issue!

For the first month to month and a half, Annie was having a lot of "internal" issues...she fussed like crazy every time she had gas or was trying to work something out (if you know what I mean!).  Again, another issue that is so hard to deal with because there isn't a lot you can do about this.  I did try a few things though....gas drops (seemed to make it worse), I cut out dairy and soy for a week or so (didn't really seem to make a difference), tried a little pear juice in her 1 bottle a day (seemed to make it worse too!)...finally, I cut out all caffeine which seemed to help (finally!!)  I really wasn't even having much, half a cup of coffee a day, but it seemed to make a difference.  She is passing things along a little bit easier now - she still fusses every now and then when she has gas pains, but it's not horrible anymore (and this is normal for babies according to her doctor).  The idea of going back to work on Monday without ANY caffeine though is a little scary...haha!

As I said at the beginning, there are so many emotions that you experience as a new mom - joy, love, happiness, helplessness, worry, uncertainty, doubt, frustration - just to name a few.  I think the hardest part so far is knowing what exactly we should do for different things...like what to do about her reflux (and feeling helpless in the meantime that you can't help her pain), or how to start good habits so she falls into a schedule eventually (how long is too long for a nap?  How long should she go without eating during the day?)...and on top of all of that, there is SO much contradicting information in books and on the internet (all from credible sources) on what is right.  So, it definitely has been a challenge to try and get all of the information possible and then come up with our own decision on what WE are going to do....all the while having NO idea if we are doing any of this right! :)

In the end, what is most important is that our baby is happy, Ben and I are happy with one another, and we are happy as a family - and I can say without a doubt that all of those things are true!  So, at least for now, I think we're doing something right :)